Spanking has seemingly been around since the dawn of time, however, it didn’t always bare the same connotations as it does today. Once upon a time, before it was completely acceptable to have a fetish or a weird sexual preference, spanking was only utilized as a form of punishment for misbehaving children. Nowadays, however, it’s more of a parameter people use while trying to find a hookup on BBW dating sites, for example.

Still, while talking about spanking in the sexual sense, the eternal question is always posed: how to differentiate spanking which is done for pleasure from that which is done for punishment. With that in mind, let’s take a look on how to know which type of spanking you and your partner might be using during your role-playing.

Asserting Dominance and Showing Submission

In a very large majority of cases, spanking shows up as part of the game people play when they practice BDSM. And since BDSM includes bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism, it’s really important to know which aspect of this sexual phenomenon is most present in your sexual relationship with your partner in order to know why type of spanking you’re actually practicing.

This is commonly done by a simple conversation. Sit down with your partner and try to openly discuss what you like and dislike doing and being done to you in bed. Only this way can you ever hope to figure out which aspect of BDSM you have present in your sexual life and, in turn, to which purpose are you practicing spanking.

If discipline, dominance and sadism are your things, then you’re most likely spanking your partner in the goal of punishing them. Otherwise, you simply find pure physical, sexual pleasure in smacking that ass with the palm of your hand.

After Talking, Talk Some More

The preemptive talk is indeed useful, but it doesn’t end there. In order to fully understand the way you’re using spanking, you should by all means talk during those role-playing sessions with your partner.

For example, while spanking your girl, ask her if she knows why you’re spanking her. When she says she does, ask her what is the reason. Once she states which exact situation or event brought you two to the act of spanking, it will be much clearer as to your goal behind this activity.

Here’s an example:

  • “Do you know why I am spanking you?”
  • “I do, master.”
  • “And why is that?”
  • “I disagreed with you during dinner, Master.”
  • etc.

This actually might just be the most efficient path to discovering just how much impact spanking has on your sex life and what do you hope to accomplish by doing it. Bottom line, it’s always fun when one partner spanks the other in bed, even if no BDSM variation is involved. If we’re being completely honest here, spanking is always a bit better if some tying up, whipping and name-calling is also present.