Know Exactly What You Want!
by Cerina.
Copyrighted by Submissive Loving. All rights reserved.
Reprinted with Permission
You are a submissive. You have read everything you could get your hands on and talked to anyone who would offer advice about finding a good Domme. Now, it is time to choose your dominant. I can only speak and counsel you regarding a full time 24/7 relationship as that is my only experience, however some of what I have to say can also be applied to part time as well. Choose carefully. Choose wisely. This is your life, your heart, your mind and only you can make sure you end up in a relationship that best suits you.
The First Step:
Get comfy in your favorite chair in a quiet room with pen and paper. Take a deep breath and calm your mind. Dig deep, really THINK about all past relationships. What type of men did you choose? Did those choices work for you? Make a list on the paper of all the traits the men you previously chose possessed. Could he hold a job? Was he quick to anger? Did he make you feel safe? Did he satisfy your needs? Write everything that pops into your mind. EVERYTHING.
Second Step:
This is about need versus want. I want Brad Pitt, to never work again, and live a life of luxury. Well don’t we all? (smirk) Would having that truly fulfill me and satisfy my needs? To help you, I will share some of my needs that I wrote down after digging deep and seeing why my past relationships did not satisfy me and why they didn’t work. I NEED to feel safe. I NEED to know that the man in my life will do everything in his power to stop any harm from coming to me. I NEED security. I need to know I will not be living in my car and begging on street corners for food. I cannot be happy without these things. CANNOT. What can you NOT live without? Not be happy without? Write it down!! Every word. Leave nothing out. Go crazy.
Third Step:
What traits must your partner have that will satisfy those needs? Only you can answer this and you MUST answer it to ensure you choose the right Dom. Pay no attention to what you think anyone will think about your list. This is your life, not their life. You have a right to happiness. I made such a list. I never faltered from it. I knew what kind of man would make me happy and what kind of man I could be happy to serve. I was patient. I met many Doms and rejected them all. I would rather be alone than settle for less. Four years later, when I least expected it, there he was. Yes, over the four years my list was modified every now and then as I discovered more about my needs. Your list may change as well as you learn more about yourself. It is my hope that you find the same happiness that I have found. Now make that list!!!
Putting It Into Action:
Remember that you have the right to be choosey. You have the right to ask questions and take your time in getting to know someone BEFORE they can expect to dominate you. It seems like some people take more time choosing a new vehicle than choosing someone to share their life with. Compose some questions to ask that will identify a dominant who can fulfill your needs and don’t be shy about asking. Interview them and be as thorough as possible.