For both parties, BDSM revolves around trust in terms of limits, wants, needs, and desires, which all require proper communication. It takes a considerable amount of time to gain trust in a Master and reciprocate trust in a Dominant one. Being flogged or strangled with no way out except a friend’s say-so requires some healthy trust between parties. Using safe words to tell a dominant when it’s getting out of control, as well as cultivating trust, are all important factors to consider before entering a dungeon, as it were, with a BDSM partner.
Difference between Regular Sex and BD/SM
Technically, the word regular when it comes to sex is completely relative. One person’s pain is another person’s pleasure. On that same note, ordinary people also engage in BDSM, which doesn’t add much to the definition. In essence, what we fantasize about in terms of bondage, domination, discipline, and submission as well as Sado-Masochism all fall under BDSM.
The differences are not subliminal at all.
Trust– whereas a lady or guy may decide to have a one-night stand with someone they barely know, the same cannot be said of a BDSM partner. Being bound, gagged, and sometimes spanked are not activities you let a total stranger do to you.
Props – almost always, BDSM activities will revolve around some contraptions. These could range from basic fetish wear to belts, cuffs, gag balls, chains, and whips.
Safe Words – there are few instances you would need safewords in regular sex. There is always a limit people reach where both parties need to cool off. Simple as that. However, role plays and sadism – masochism involves kinky activities requiring words that unequivocally state a need for cessation of activities.
Trust – Main Construct of BDSM Relationships.
The word BDSM implies bondage, dominance, discipline, and submission as well as Sado-Masochism. These activities require some flogging (beating), a certain amount of spanking, and bondage and discipline. Put all these together, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Without a very healthy element of trust, there should never be any BDSM relationship. Because trust is what counts, there is a little conversation, if at all any. People reach unsurpassed levels of climax simply because they trusted their partner to get them there. These levels are achieved through pain in some instances, yet the pain is welcomed with pleasure.
Dialogue – Essence of BDSM?
Remember to talk. Let the dominant one know what they need to do and how to do it. Part of role-playing revolves around what is said, usually to the submissive one. Words used to order someone around the room may be precisely what is needed to get them to climax.
Too much emphasis is put on what is done as opposed to the words preceding and during the activities. Along with safe words, there are few instances where a partner visualized something else in comparison. It requires dialogue between parties so that a partner doesn’t sigh from boredom. Additionally, dominants will inevitably, at some point, go on a power trip. While getting carried away is expected, words need to be uttered when attempting new, riskier moves or when it gets to be too much.
Diversify Relationships and Show Essence
Your essence maybe what we like to call your element. Our inhibitions, and we all have some, are usually let loose when we drink or use some other drug. Think of BDSM as a drug that brings out all your inhibitions. It is a way for many men and women to let themselves loose, sexually truly.
Albeit it involves a lot of sexual innuendos and activities, BDSM is psychological in what it does for a person. Some state that it is a mental disorder, but the truth is quite the opposite. Men involved in these activities may experience lowered stress levels in life, while women tend to be livelier and more at peace with themselves. When people get involved in BDSM, they are seeking a different kind of relationship.
To diversify means they want to be the dominant one for a change or be submissive. It may not occur with the same partner they are hitched to, but it will happen. This diversification may also take part in a marriage. Partners agree to practice role-playing, to arouse each other sexually. After these events, things go back to normal, i.e., roles in the household stay the same.
BDSM is an eye-opening, heart- throbbing, and mind-blowing experience for thousands of people globally. It provides individuals with an opportunity to come out of their shells. However, BDSM lovers are often afraid or embarrassed to tell about their sexual preferences to their soulmate, so they look for sexual partners with similar addictions on mistress chat or other similar dating sites.
Coleen is a writer, photographer and film maker at Wasteland and Sssh.com.
Here at BDSMCafe.com, she is editor and curator of this comprehensive library of BDSM fiction, informational articles and other educational features that date back to the early days of the internet in 1996 when the site was first launched.
