(Re-Print from an FAQ about BDSM on the newsgroups. Old, but reliable information with many links to the source articles below.)
Introduction
Soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm is a Usenet discussion group, or newsgroup, about various topics including sex and bondage. This FAQ list is my set of answers to some of the most common questions in that group. You may find it interesting whether or not you’ve encountered s.s.b-b itself.
- What kinds of things are discussed on soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm? And what things are not appropriate for discussion there? Read the group’s charter! And all shall be made clear.
This FAQ contains explicit sexual information. If you do not wish to view such information, I advise you to skip this FAQ. If you believe this FAQ itself is obscene, I ask you to read my response to question 20.
Books could be and are being written about these questions; remember, this is a thumbnail FAQ list. If you learn anything from this list, hopefully it will be how many questions there are to ask, and how much there is to learn! If you’re concerned or curious about issues that you feel are breezed over here, see the very end of this FAQ for a list of wonderful books and sources of more information. And if you want more ideas or discussion about anything, well, what else is soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm for?
The FAQs Themselves
- What do B&D, S&M, D&S, “top”, “bottom” mean?
- What is a “scene”, and what is “negotiation”?
- What is a “safeword”?
- When is pain not pain?
- What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically?
- Is everyone either a top or a bottom? What’s a “switch”?
- How can I learn to be a good top?
- How can I learn to be a good bottom?
- Is BDSM sexual?
- Why is bondage fun?
- Why is whipping fun?
- What is body piercing? What is “C&B” play, or “genitorture”?
- What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play?
- What is it about breath control? Is it safe to make someone pass out?
- What are “golden showers”? How about “scat”?
- Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?
- What is “fisting”?
- Does the way I play qualify as “real” SM? What is “real” SM, anyway?
- What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes?
- What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing?
- Why am I defending SM?
- Is SM degrading or abusive? Were most SM people abused?
- Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural, immoral, unethical, or unhealthy?
- Isn’t the bottom always in control?
- Can someone _really_ be someone else’s slave?
- What are the “codes”?
- My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?
- I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it?
- I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?
- What’s the deal with this anonymity stuff?
- Are SM people being politically and socially harassed?
- What topics are or aren’t acceptable on s.s.b-b? (including, what’s s.s.b-b’s charter?