Sex and intimacy may be the last thing on your mind after completing treatment for cervical cancer. Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy are known to affect the body, especially the reproductive system.
According to Mayo Clinic, cancer treatments affect an individual’s sex life by causing pain during sex, lower libido, lack of energy for sexual activity, hormonal changes, and weaker orgasms. Besides that, cancer treatment may also affect how an individual views their body and sexuality, as well as the physical and emotional relationship with a partner.
Despite these adverse effects, women can still have a wonderful and exciting sex life after cancer treatment. In fact, a study from the Journal of Women’s Health even shows that 81.1 percent of women were sexually active after completing cervical cancer treatment, and 90.9 percent even enjoyed sexual activity.
Bouncing back in bed and returning to normal sexual activities may take some time, but it’s not impossible. While it’s exciting to enjoy BDSM again and have a satisfying sex life, it’s going to be a gradual process that you shouldn’t rush.
Talk to Your Health-care Provider
Talking about your concerns shouldn’t just involve your partner. You should also talk to your health-care provider about recovering your sex life and drive.
Health-care providers may not mention anything about sexual changes when recovering from cervical cancer. You should initiate the conversation on this topic by asking questions about the changes that you may encounter.
Your health-care provider will discuss the possible problems that you may encounter along the way and recommendations to treat the physical and psychological impact that you may be experiencing after your cancer diagnosis and treatment.
Prepare Yourself
The first time to have sexual activity may not be as great as how you used to have it or even how you imagined it to go. This is why it’s important to get advice from your health-care provider so you know the necessary steps and preparations to make any sexual activity as pleasurable as possible.
A psychologist or sex therapist specializing in addressing the psychological impact you’re experiencing may also help you overcome the fears, anxieties, and insecurities you may be facing while recovering from cancer and getting back to your normal sex life.
You may also be prescribed oral or topical medications to regain your sexual function. Some health-care providers also find medical devices to be very beneficial for women recovering from cervical cancer.
Your first sex after treatment may be painful, but there is good pain and bad pain even when it comes to BDSM. Vaginal dilators are cone-shaped devices that help women with certain medical conditions enjoy sex again after treatment or surgery. Vaginal dilators help improve sexual function by strengthening pelvic floor muscles and stretching the vaginal muscles to allow penetration minus the pain.
Talk to Your Partner
Any relationship will always need open communication and not just after cancer. Partners may not always see eye to eye in every problem or situation. Sex is a sensitive topic to talk about, but it’s necessary to discuss it so you can still have a healthy sex life after recovering from cervical cancer.
There may be some sexual activities that you used to enjoy like BDSM but may need a bit more time and preparation before you can get back to it. Be transparent to your partner about your worries and fears. This will help you overcome problems together.
Experiment and Explore
Your vaginal muscles may be tighter, and your natural vaginal lubrication may be more scarce than before due to the cancer treatment. These may make penetrative sex painful. Take it slow, and continue with your vaginal dilation therapy and prescribed medication or ointment. It may take time, but you will regain your normal sexual function.
Sex doesn’t always have to be about penetration and intercourse. But if these are the things that you look forward to, you may want to take the time to experiment and explore other intimate activities with your partner.
You can try other sexual activities that don’t involve penetration, such as masturbation, mutual masturbation, mutual genital touching, and oral sex. These may help ramp up your sexual desire.
If you’re ready to dive in deeper and push through with penetrative sex and BDSM, remember to use a safe lubricant, give more time for foreplay, and start with light bondage first.
Experiment with different positions to find out which is comfortable for you, and explore different techniques that you find pleasurable.
Cancer treatment may have affected your sexuality, but that doesn’t mean that your sex life is gone forever. You don’t have to rush or force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with.
Coleen is a writer, photographer and film maker at Wasteland and Sssh.com.
Here at BDSMCafe.com, she is editor and curator of this comprehensive library of BDSM fiction, informational articles and other educational features that date back to the early days of the internet in 1996 when the site was first launched.
