Reading Time: 2minutes There is a thin line between hot BDSM and emotional (and physical) abuse. That being said, we're going to do our best and try to determine the point where kinkiness stops and violence begins.
We all have that one thing that gets us off. It doesn’t matter if it’s BBWdating, foot fetish, or BDSM, as long as we play nice and respect the rules. For many years, BDSM was a taboo in most parts of the world. Nowadays, however, people are being able to speak openly about their experiences, both good and bad. Today, we’re going to focus on those bad experiences and emotional abuse that is unfortunately common when it comes to this particular sexual fetish. There is a thin line between hot BDSM and emotional (and physical) abuse. That being said, we’re going to do our best and try to determine the point where kinkiness stops and violence begins.
Setting The Ground Rules Before Sex
This is, by far, the most important step when it comes to BDSM encounters. By setting the rules, you’re actually distinguishing sex and games from violence and abuse. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about these limits and rules. This necessary conversation is the only way to protect yourself or your significant other. It’s important to set up ground rules before the sex because once the passion takes over, you might get carried away.
Having A Safe Word Is Top Priority
The crucial part of those “pre-sex negotiations” is determining the safe word. You must never engage in BDSM without both of you knowing the safe word. This is the rule number one! It is your way out and you have to be sure your partner knows the word. That is the only way you’ll be able to relax and embark on a hot and kinky adventure.
Soft And Hard Limits
The thing you have to know about this particular fetish is that it can be rather tricky. Some people tend to ignore the safe word because they’re seconds away from climax. That’s why it’s important to determine so-called soft and hard limits. Breaking the soft limit can be allowed if the partner agrees, but breaking the hard limit is very risky and ill-advised. Determining these limits is a very delicate discussion, so make sure you and your partner are on the same page. This way, you’ll avoid potential injuries and dangerous scenarios.
Breaking The Rules And Abusing The Partner
Like we already said, there is a thin line between pleasure and abuse. Ignoring the safe word and breaking all the rules that were set during pre-sex negotiations is considered to be a violent and abusive behavior. Physical violence that was not planned or agreed upon before the act is also wrong. Verbal degradation and breach of trust are the prime examples of emotional abuse during BDSM activities. Forcing a partner to do something he/she doesn’t want to do is crossing the line. So, before you engage in a BDSM relationship with someone new, make sure to establish a strong and trusting bond first. After you do that, feel free to explore your kinky side.
Coleen is a writer, photographer and film maker at Wasteland and Sssh.com.
Here at BDSMCafe.com, she is editor and curator of this comprehensive library of BDSM fiction, informational articles and other educational features that date back to the early days of the internet in 1996 when the site was first launched.
